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Brand new mailing list 4 U, my friends:







Thanks for listening!

STRONGER (The Lindsey White Band)




RENEGADE (The Lindsey White Band)

We have woven ourselves together, you and I.

Just a little, at first. Our lives were twisting, turning;
changing at an unbelievable pace.
Though some of it was entirely out of our control,
we chose to let ourselves twist and circle around each other
while being pulled forward by some strange force.

Now we are entangled.

And as the directions of our lives become more harmonious,
the "pulling" sensation becomes increasingly strenuous.
We struggle to understand with bursts of terse tension;
ducking and weaving, contorting around each other to see
our true selves face to face.

It has not always been this way, for either of us.
We have not always been free... and the pressure can be deceiving as the knots we tie are tighter, thicker, stronger and more elaborate.

We wonder why we can't release the tension without undoing everything...
though we could never let go, even if we wanted to.

But it is that very force that continues to weave us together.
Without our understanding how.
Without us figuring out every detail of the great love that connects us.
Without holding on or letting go.

All we need know is that bonds are not chains,
trust cannot be conjured or coerced...
and we have never been more free.

*Not Fragile*

It felt as though it could swing either way:
A delicate balance between life and death.
And back and forth my dangling heart would sway
Until my lungs finally ran out of breath.

It felt like time was all it would take
And a little more should pass before
I’d fall for good and pride would break
But I’m not fragile… not anymore.


*The "Let Me Be" Song*

It's not that I don't want to wait as much as that I lack the ability to stay still.
Watching ice melt is not my idea of a good time; it is so much more fun and interesting to play with the cracks.

So I pace carefully along the water's edge to see where the pressure lies
and then test it at every available opportunity.

Large, seemingly random cracks sliver their way to the middle.
Only when I put all of my weight on these puzzle pieces I have made do they begin sinking.
They angle themselves slowly at first...
and then it is a race to the edge before they sink deep beneath the surface of the dark water.

The picture I'm left with is a "magic eye" with missing pieces.
You can see what it is if you stare hard, or glance quickly, but otherwise not at all.

And why are we so afraid of what we cannot see?

Most people don't bother to understand, or would prefer a sort of voluntary blindness to facing the human emotions that inevitably follow understanding.
They become frustrated and cut themselves on the edges,
trying to rescue sinking shards from their fate.

I wonder what will happen when they're all gone...

The ugly truth has arrived and is breathing down my neck.
It is on me, but it cannot destroy me... unless I allow...
And fear; why fear?
Attention is far too high a price to pay.

I know it's here. It never went away.
But this is far more than a staring contest and I know what I must do.

For too long I shut it out and paid much more than attention
for much less than perspective.
Eventually it came out anyway, as it always does and I have been grateful.

Slowly, I must open my mouth and sing,
and let the truth do what it must do to me.

Having silent patience is one thing.
Writhing in the spotlight is quite another.

I'm not waiting for theology to catch up with me.
It is grounded, somewhere far off in the distance;
whereas I am lost in space.

There is no direction in unfamiliar territory.
Disorientation is enevitable.

The only difference is that now, I am figuring out how to move.
I know who I am, and I know who is with me...
but I am not grounded.

And the truth is everywhere.
I cling to it every time I find it.
And I am searching for it in all the wrong places,
following it as far as it will go.

It's a dangerous way to live,
but it is the only way when the end of life is certain.

I may not know where I'm going yet,
but I'm flying there as fast as I can.

When the time comes for you to move
To hold loosely onto things
That you once tried so hard to prove
At once, you will grow new wings.

When the time comes for you to see
To separate foolish from wise
So that the latter you will be
At once, you will grow new eyes.

When the time comes for you to give
To follow through with all your plans
And hold the dream you'd die to live
At once you will grow new hands.

When it is time for you to hope
That all real love somewhere must start
You need not question how to cope;
At once, you'll have a new heart.

When it is time for you to trust
To allow yourself to let go
Of all that is past, and you must,
You will be new... and you will know.